Mentally, depression is a solidified belief in fear, or rather, a belief that we are too weak to do anything about the things we fear. Sit with your depression, be with it, listen to what it wants. And then, once you've honoured it, consciously remove your attention from this bullying emotion. Helping people is a natural cure; as we alleviate the pain of others, we are transformed through them.

I sometimes have waves of 'impending doom', a sensation that I essentially have no control of my life, dreams of being at the wheels of cars with minds of their own. In these sensations there may be some actual objectitve circumstances at the source, but aside from doing the interpersonal work, the only solution lies in the choice to feel otherwise.
A good mantra from Marianne Williamson:
'I must have decided wrongly because I am not at peace, but I can actively decide otherwise. I choose _______ now.'

On this note, normal is a boring word not worth striving for.

Being at peace is a concoction of grace - allowing the flow of moments to unfold, gratitude - paying attention to your blessings and decidedly blessing yourself, and awareness - watching what's going on around and inside you like a high caliber film.

Whereas depression feels blocked, bound, heavy, hurting ~ peace is the realm of possibilities.

Thank you Dawn!
I hope you don't mind a plug for a New York based, 'Find Happiness' event, with Meetup.com:

A reminder about this group. There is no view that this organizer is imposing. While I am a ''psychologist ''and have done counseling work,and was a NYC Special Education Teacher,I am not a psychotherapist . This is a self-help group that goes beyond support. This is a new form of psychological well-being. It uses techniques that might work if they are understood and practiced.. If you have a background in psychology,have read some books or even if you haven't your view is welcomed to be heard. Yes really ! If you think a psychiatrist or psychotherapist is performing an exacting science,then you misunderstand these practices. When I attended Stuyvesant H.S. I aced courses in theoretical physics including cosmology. Psychological help in any form can not and never will be an exacting science ! Even medicine and surgery are not absolutely exact. The more complex any system is the m ore variables there are. Modern scientific theory realizes that complex systems cannot be reduced to one factor. To illustrate this realize that tap water does not freeze at 0.000 degrees centigrade nor will it boil at 100.000 degrees ! To get anything precise the atmospheric pressure must be set at a constant (a standard) the water in question must be chemically pure H 2 O. The weather can not be predicted precisely because it is based mainly on air masses and there movement. It is just too complex to include other factors: the terrain of a city and the effect of any tall buildings, as well as factory or car emissions, geothermal factors, gravitational factors of the moon, solar flares and other activities of the sun. True modern science is not reductionist and and can really state things in probabilities! I'm not going to play stupid and could not have conceived of this group without both the academic background, the teaching of learning disabled and " emotionally handicapped" students . Hey I'm not bragging .I'm an awful typist and do not know food as well as Rachel Ray. By the way there is not one form of psychotherapy that exist but several. Which one your therapist uses can therefore vary. Since they are also humans it is not possible for them to be 100% totally objective. there is no such thing as total objectivity .Theoretical physics takes this into account.( Neils Bohr v.s. Einstein)So this does not mean throwing science out the window,but the recognition that human senses and our limited cognitive abilites and limited knowledge play a factor in making any absolute statements. I'm actually pro -scientific but realize that much of science uses working hypotheses. The truth is that any psychiatrist who clainms that serotinin is THE cure for depression is lying. The matter of neurotransmitters and measuring happiness together with other factors make psychiatry a science but not an exacting one.
Are You Killing Kindness
I have derived at a technique that might help- it works for me. It involves roleplaying to change behavior. One must recognize that when we help others and get nothing in return except feeling hurt or punished,we are actually killing kindness! There are people who will ask you to put yourself way out and use you.In plain language they know a sucker. I have dealt very well this problem although I do have deep ethics and a drive to help others. One must realize that they are not Jesus and if you want sainthood it involves your demise. If I was a Darfur resident ,and was going to die I just&n bsp;might do the heroic thing of saving others even taking a bullet. It would be a way of dying well..
To save real compassion in society it may be best to separate foolish compassion from real compassion. If you keep overdoing for others, you might become a misanthropic person. Another outcome can be ridiculous self-rightousness. Oliver Cromwell , Napolean., Robespierre, Lenin may have started out with empathy ,but all wound up being megalomaniacs.Their good intentions actually backfired. , because a powerful extreme action may have a paradoxical effect. Jet propulsion is not aided by putting explosives in the engine!

This is about preserving kindness and ethics,

1. Where you reprimanded as a child on morals in a very strict way?
2. Is it bad to reward true kindness? Is virtue it's own reward ?
3. If there is no God,is there a reason to be a kind helpful person? ( i believe there is and am an atheist !)
4. Are you perfectionistic and/or obssesive compulsive?
5. Would you have helped Saddam Hussein,Hitler or Charles Manson if they said they redemmed themselves. Would you have hid them and feed them now that they kiss your hand and are filled with statements of sorrow and guilt and eyes filled with tears?
6. Have you ever been upset by all the people who do not return favors but want more and more?
7. Have you ever felt that ALL humankind is deceptive?
8. Do you realize you are sort of addicted to being too nice to the wrong individuals ?
9. Do you realize that animals help each other in a symbiotic relationship ?

Well before you become a misanthrope,or a megalomaniac there are ways to modify this conduct. I have realized that there are certain people with whom help should be non-existent, others for whom it should be limited, and yet others who are more deserving. There is a Christian story about a man sparring Satan ! It has the same message .Realize that a religion called Jainism was once popular in India ,but lost followers,due to extreme compassion for and kindness to everyone even those who attacked them. Most religions and belief systems even recognize the paradox of excessive compassion.

So answer the above questions about yourself-be honest.
Bring one or two situations in which you just keep giving in to foolish compassion. I have several ways to deal compassionately ,yet firmly with those who prey upon compassionate people. If you have a technique we can try it also.! My method involves roleplay.,thwarting technique ( thanks to Dr. David Burns) and several other means.

You can be very nice and do good works without playing the role of messiah, or self-punishment.


Angelique Delacroix M.S.E.
graphospheria@earthlink.net

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This message was sent by Angie Delacroix (graphospheria@earthlink.net) from The NYC Find Happiness Through Mindful Self -Actualization.